


The shape of your eyes look like broken hearts.

by iljhoon



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Breakup, I tried anyway, It's been a while, M/M, Mark's POV, as it progresses, i'm feeling angsty, unhealthy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-15 06:51:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11225595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iljhoon/pseuds/iljhoon
Summary: "I will respect your decision, but that's only because I love you, not because I want to."or simply, Jackson breaks up with Mark.





	The shape of your eyes look like broken hearts.

**Author's Note:**

> hi, there may be some grammatical errors and what not, and i apologize, it's kinda late here and i just got home but i really wanted to get this up asap, so i hope you enjoy!!  
> also if it's kinda strange, i apologize too.

_You were everything that I had._ Before you, I knew nothing about the world, my life was in a constant ditch that covered me in the bloody dark. I was living my life, in a way where I had wanted to die, every single day of my life. Whilst others may have say those words in a spur of the moment, I have always wanted to die. My life felt like it was facing the dark side of the Earth everyday, where the Moon is never full and the Sun never shines here. Where the stars never shine and the clouds never move. My life was a stagnant tragedy painted in black and white.

Till I met you, Jackson Wang.

Jackson Wang, the day I had met you, everything was in a sudden speedy motion. I couldn't even breathe right but that's okay, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the adrenaline rush that came with you, the constant laughing and dancing in the streets. Jackson Wang, you didn't just give me some cheap light bulb from the dollar store, you gave me the Dog Star, which by default, is the brightest star in the universe! You're mad, Jackson, so damn mad, but that's okay, I fucking love you anyway.

The day when you asked me to be your boyfriend, oh you have NO idea how happy I had been. Are you really clueless on the effects that you have on me? Because at this rate, I might really DIE from happiness from all the little things that you do. All the little, "good morning, my love." texts to all those other, "good night, sweetheart." But if being with you meant that I could die happily, I would gladly and contently give up my tiny spot in this large universe that we call Home.

Jackson Wang, you're really something.

After all those nights of drunkenly dancing to sweet jazz music that you would play on the radio, as we giggle and eventually, fall onto the ground as a pile of intoxicated, giggly mess and all those times when you kissed me and played along with my stupid 'wishing at 11:11' tradition, you proposed to me. Just when I had thought that you would never be able to top asking me out, you pull this shit and asked if I would like to live with you?! Yes Jackson, of course!

I can never be happier than right now, you are truly a masterpiece, Jackson Wang.

When we moved into our new apartment, everything in my life is where I had wanted it to be. In what felt like a couple seconds, my life went from absolutely and completely empty, to bright coloured graffiti on the walls of my heart. You made me feel as though I belong here, on top of the world, with you. You made me feel like a King, and more importantly, you made me feel worthy of being loved. Before you, I never knew what love was past its definition in the dictionary. But then you came along and gave it a meaning, an idea.

And suddenly, my life doesn't seem all that bad anymore.

But then we started fighting. When our fights went past the usual joking manner of "why didn't you wash my clothes?" that would often end up in tickles and giggling, to much more serious fights, I thought to myself, 'ah, the honeymoon era has truly ended.' But I had still loved you wholeheartedly, and it wouldn't matter, because it is true fighting where couple get to learn more about one another, and bond over greater heights, right? To some extent, perhaps, but how should I feel when you start to pick fights with me, for no reason. How many more nights of crying to bed do I have to handle? Or rather, how many more sleepless nights can my body take?

Everything went snowballed even further when I found out that you've been flirtatiously texting someone else. But like the stupid, fragile and insecure being that I am, I was too afraid to let you know. I'd rather live in pain and constant reminder that your heart is with someone else that truly lose your entire being. If I lose all of you to her, I would truly be at a loss.

Therefore, I would rather still pretend that you love me. It would hurt less than you leaving me.

My foolish self believed that I could pretend forever, act forever. My foolish self had dragged my entire being into a play where I had been the sole director, actor and producer. That is until you dropped the big words on me, **let's break up** , you said, with a lack of emotions to the point where I, start to panic. I held onto the script, desperate to not let it go.

**What do you mean?** I say, as an act of salvaging the relationship that I had long lost.

**You know exactly what I mean, Mark. Stop acting.** Hearing you call me by my name felt so foreign, I swore, you were someone else.

**I don't.**

**Yes, you do. I know you've read my texts, I know you know that I no longer adore you, that I can no longer look at you as though I love you. Mark Tuan, I loathe you, you know that?** My script gets torn in half as I try to piece it back together. Oh, where had it all gone wrong?

You go on to tell me how you had found me disgusting for holding onto this fake relationship that was long lost in the fiery war, and how I could persist to act on for so long. But you don't get it, Jackson, you just don't get it.

**Okay,** I say, heart in my throat, **I will respect your decision, but that's only because I love you, not because I want to.**

You rolled your eyes and sighed, as you left the front door, taking away all of the colours that you had originally brought into my life, with you.

You're mad, Jackson, so damn mad, but that's okay,

_I love you anyway._

 

**Author's Note:**

> **the Dog Star is the nickname of the Alpha Canis Majoris, which is more commonly known as the brightest start in the universe.**


End file.
